24 things about an average 24 year old.

Ok... so I have been doing some serious thinking lately. I am more than a little angry. Mostly at myself. I started out confident and vivacious and strong in who I was. But over the years my need to be a "people pleaser" has ruined that. I let so many people strip bits and pieces of me away so that I would fit in their tiny little box, the box they thought I should be in. I allowed it to make them happy, but more often than not those same people threw the box away (the same box they seemed to have wanted, the same box they wanted me in) when it didn't fit into their lives just the way they thought it would. So what good was it to go through all the pain of making myself what they wanted if they didn't want it after all?

After years and years of shaving of pieces (and sometimes throwing away huge hunks) in order to "fix" me I've been left with almost nothing left. I'm tired and hurt and angry and well.... fed up. I'm done. I've had enough.

God is my center and my core. That has never changed. He is the one, the only one, that I will be allowing to fix me.

From here on out I'm going to unashamedly just be me and I'm reclaiming (or admitting for the first time) some of the idiosyncrasies about myself.

Good, bad, ugly or indifferent.... I'm me. Take me or leave.

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A list about me:

1. I love a good list. I make them any chance I get. And if they are somehow color coded... All the better.
2. I keep my house spotless (or at least I try) but somehow, my car is always, always, horrible. I think that everyone should have somewhere that isn't perfect... just to keep you sane. A junk drawer, a closet (reference "Friends"), or, in my case, the car.
3. I love to dance. LOVE.
4. I'm not very good at dancing.
5. I like my eyebrows. They are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But they remind me of the women in my family. My left one has a giant gap (just like my mother's), forcing me to do a trump-like comb over. And they frame my face so that I look a lot like my grandmother
6. Sunkists are my drug of choice. Literally. They impair my judgment and make me say things i wouldn't normally say. I have to drink them sparingly.
7. I love to organize. Anything that can be organized.
8. I like to wear lots of jewelry. Big and bold, In style or not, its just me. I prefer inexpensive jewelry though. I don't trust myself with the other.
9. I'm insanely shy in groups larger that 2.
10. I think ladybugs are weird. I'm not a fan.
11. Poached eggs are my favorite type of eggs
12. I think cheese goes with almost everything.
13. People who drugs make me livid. Throwing away good health like that. I would kill to be healthy, to not have to take meds every day.
14. I don't like steamed green beans. They are squeaky when you chew them.
15. My dentist makes me use a children's toothbrush because my mouth is too small for a regular one. My current one is Hello Kitty
16. I can't stand celery. I don't think i could make myself swallow it no matter what you put on it. I'd rather eat grass.
17. I tend to find a shirt i like and then buy it in several colors (sorry, ashley).
18. When I wear yellow gold jewelry I feel more sassy.... Almost Lola-ish. I've been wearing it more often as of late. :)
19. I have a hard time remembering names, but numbers are a totally different thing. i weirdly remember long complicated ones.
20. I have an annoying laugh when i get really tickled. Its loud, cartoonish and completely uncontrollable.
21. I read slowly. I love to read and was an English major, but I read slowly. In fact, on my ACT I scored much higher in math than in English.
22. I would die without my planner... OK, not literally die, but It helps me so much. I've used one since I was 13. I get so excited about buying my new one each January. (well, to be honest I start looking for it in December)
23. My hair is naturally wavy/curly.
24. I don't like fish. It isn't that i necessarily dislike the taste. I don't think its wrong or anything, it just bothers me. Now, I'm not a vegetarian by any standard. I love me some meat and have no problems eating it. But there is just something about eating fish.